Philadelphia:

City of Big Broken Bells and Large Drippy Sandwiches with Thinly Sliced Beef, Melted Cheese, Sautéed Mushrooms and Onions, Maybe a Little Mayonnaise, but no Peppers, Please, on a Crusty Hoagie Roll (The locals probably prefer "The City of Brotherly Love")

Tuesday: Have you ever been to a southern Baptist church? One of those where the preacher says something meaningful, and the congregation repeats back the last 2 or 3 words in reverent voices, just to show that they really get it? The two guys behind me on the flight over here were doing just that. Funnily enough, they were mostly talking about Vegas. The conversation went something like this:

"I like to go with one of my friends. He's a high-roller."

"A high-roller!"

"So wherever we go, we get our food comped."

"Food comped, huh!"

"I like to play the penny and nickel slots, just as a time-killer."

"Just to kill time. Mm!"

Of course, there were various "Mmm hmm"s thrown in for added emphasis. This went on for at least an hour, and my lower lip was almost worn through by the time we landed from trying not to laugh out loud. It's not often I get to hear Vegas getting the holy treatment.

So, there is no poker in Philadelphia. Can this be true? If anyone reading this knows of a game, please e-mail me and restore my faith in the city. I don't need to know specifics, just that it's out there.

Met up with spatne, a Eurolinx player and poster on 2+2, for some sampling of the local cuisine and strategy talk. To my shock and horror, he informed me that Phily cheesesteaks are eaten in Philadelpha without mushrooms. Apparently, if you ask at some local joints for a cheesesteak with either mushrooms or peppers, you'll earn yourself either a punch in the nose or an order to go to the back of the line. Not a very subtle people, the Philadelphians. Even sans mushrooms, however, the cheesesteak I got from the little shop in the Italian district was good enough to almost make up for the lack of poker. Almost.

Atlantic City:

America's Favorite Playground (just don't get caught outside after dark without a bodyguard)

Wednesday: Casino tip of the day: Classic rock. Play it loud and sing along louder. It keeps your mind empty on the way to the casino, and keeps you awake on the way home. Doesn't matter if you like classic rock, or if you don't know any of the words. In fact, it might be better if you don't.

I had fond memories of the Taj Mahal from the last time I was in AC, so I started off there. I grow attached to good poker spots, especially if I have a history of running well there, so to find it as run-down as it was really got to me. I had some issues with the place.

First off, they let homeless people sleep at the empty tables. There was even a woman knitting a hat in the corner. There are also shady-looking people wandering through the tables; the people at my table tried to tempt one guy over by dropping a white chip between their chairs, but he didn't bite. Mr. Trump, you have lost whatever smidgeon of respect I may have had for you. You might be in the negative now.

Speaking of the Donald, if you order a bottle of water at the Taj, what you get is "Trump Ice," the Taj's very own bottled water with the namesake's face glaring at you from the label. About the last thing I want to see near my lips is Donald Trump's head. Yick.

And the last thing is something that so many places get wrong. Taj, wash your damn chips. White chips should be white, not grey with black streaks. When I leave a casino, I don't want there to be grime caked under my nails just from handling the chips. It really shows how much you care about your players when you let something as important as chips get as nasty as these were.

Game type: 5/10

Time at the game: 4 hours

Players per flop: ~50%

Result: +$45

Hand of the night: Nothing memorable.

Overall impression: Soft game, great dealers (naturally). There has to be something better than this in AC, though.

Coming up: New York, New York, and playing with the plumbers at Harrah's.

I will be posting each segment of the blog the day after I leave a city so I have time to edit and such. I'll try to keep it poker-related, but I do sometimes trail off. Apologies in advance.

If you like or don't like what you read, want to see more of a particular subject, or just want to say Hi, I can be reached at lydia@eurolinx.com.

Part 1: Austin, TX

Live Music Capital of the World (although the locals prefer "Keep Austin Weird")

Thursday morning: Up bright and early at 6 to prepare for a fraternity golf tournament Eurolinx is sponsoring a hole for. At the risk of sounding girly, the weather out here is gorgeous. Blue skies, just warm enough to feel warm but not hot enough to be sweaty, and everything smells green.

30-odd brothers show up for the tournament, and most of them play poker. Wanted more, but this will do. Hear about a series of meetings that all the UT fraternities have on Monday, so I extend the stay in Austin to attend a few of those. Besides, I'm liking this place and I haven't had a chance to go to a home game yet.

Thursday evening: All arranged for a 1/2 NL game. However, me being the smart girl that I am, I decide to take a nap at 6pm, just for an hour or two. Right. Result: I missed the game and was wide awake at 2:30 Friday morning. Jet lag sucks.

Friday evening: 1/2 NL. Pretty sweet game. It was held in a one-room apartment that was obviously just being used for that purpose, and hosted by a small group of Cambodians (maybe Vietnamese? I'm thinking Cambodian, though...). The players were all terrible. There was one hyper aggressive player who was involved in too many pots, but he knew his ass from his elbow, and there was a TAG Asian guy who was easy enough to avoid, but otherwise, the game couldn't have been better.

The guy to my left was a talker. He kept making lame remarks, then looking at me and smiling broadly like I was supposed to laugh or something. Worst of all, though, was that he kept making these weird grunting-type sounds. Something between "Hm!" and "Ng!" Just loud enough that I could hear him clearly, but not loud enough that anyone else at the table could, so I had to suffer alone. Horribly annoying. Got a card from another player and a promise for a game every night until I leave.

Tomorrow night, have two 1/2 NL games and drinks with one of the players in town. Bonus: first timers in one of the games get a free massage. Sweet!

Time at the game: 2 hours (wish I'd stayed longer; blaming the jet lag)

Players per flop: 65%

Result: +$256

Hand of the night: AA vs. Ks7s. AA (weak tight player) opens pre-flop with a raise to $27 (remember, blinds are 1 and 2). Big blind calls with K7. Flop is 9h6d3d. BB checks, raiser goes all-in, BB calls with his remaining $10. Turn and river unimportant. BB buys in for another $100, and I rejoice.

Overall impression: Sweet game, friendly guys, professional set-up. If this is what all the games in Austin are like, I'm definitely headed back here soon.

Saturday: Unfortunately, I wake up on this morning with my head throbbing and my throat like sandpaper. The weather has turned, too, and become oppressive, grey, and, well, oppressive. What happened to beautiful Austin?

Side note: One reason I never liked blogs was that people seem to always post things about their health. Who cares that Sally wakes up with a stomach ache on Tuesday, or that Johnny's bowels aren't behaving? I sure don't. With that said, no more will be written about my throbbing head, swimming eyes, itchy throat, muffled ears, and knotted muscles.

Monday: Efforts made to go to a couple games this weekend, but it seems the depressing weather in Austin has kicked everyone's paranoia up a few notches. I was excited about this Monday game; newcomers were treated to a massage by a trained masseuse, and their business card listed both a full menu and a full bar as reasons to visit. Unfortunately, that's about as welcoming as they got. I ended up calling 3 times about the game, at least twice more than I like. Each time, the guy promised to call right back. End result: no one in town knew me well enough for me to go to the game. They had just one more person to call about me, but they'd call me right back. I gave up after call 3.

Summary of Austin: Friendly people, uneven weather (but gorgeous when it's good), lots of spicy food, and a very active and very soft poker scene. (Got a rundown on the scene from a local player, so that assessment is not based solely on the 2 hours I got to play there). Oddly, there seem to only be 1/2 NL games in town.

Tuesday: On the road again!